ok i believe you but my tommy gun don't.

“These are the words you wish you wrote down. This is the way you wished your voice sounds. “

The only times forgiveness can be displayed as anything other than an abstract ideal or virtue are in terms of such practices as truth commissions (like in Chile), truth and trials (like those in South Africa after the apartheid conflict), amnesty, whether blanket or conditional, as was the case in South Africa, or the sacrifice of Christ. In every situation, there are two sides, and rarely is it simply the villain and the victim. Except for in the sacred case, every villain has been victimized and ever victim has been villainous. If it is about truth telling, there is never any way to tell the whole truth. I don’t want to bother with the difference between restorative and retributive justice or collective versus personal confession and forgiveness. I want to print it out in black and white on a typewriter, marking every word in sound and ink. Bold and silent. Forgiveness should rely on the whole truth. It should mean more than a simple list of the acts of cruelty or injustice. It should be perfect. Because forgiveness should make things perfect. I will not print a pamphlet of our indiscretions to be marked up in red by different interpretations, memories or motives. I do not care to. I just want perfection and that’s not too much to ask.

dear cousin.

cat like thief.

i am a kleptomaniac and a somewhat doubtful narcissist. i will take what's yours and love it because i now consider it mine and all that is mine is all that i love. so don't talk to me about the luck of the draw or survival of the fittest because i can count cards and slay dragons.
i'm watchin myself in a spiral of public humiliation or somethin quietly like it, and hear the words please don't let this turn into something it's not, i can only give you everything i've got. i can't be as sorry as you think i should, but i still love you more than anyone else could. it's a nice song and i'll pretend those words are mine and love them for being mine.

because it could take my whole life to make this right. but i won't pretend to try. because this life is not mine. i won't take it.